Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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