I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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