Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
