So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
