i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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