I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
