who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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