I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
