He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
