After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
