who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
