Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have demons in me.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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