You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
