Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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