I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
