I'm gonna have a badass scar
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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