the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize