we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
