yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
