Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize