I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
