you would pick up someone in the library
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
