Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
