If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Randomize
