respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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