Do you still have your period?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
