i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
