Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
