I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
