Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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