i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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