Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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