Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
