dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
