you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
