it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
