Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
just found out that she named her cat after me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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