just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize