I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
