yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
