Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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