hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
