Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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