You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize