We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
