her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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