I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize