I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
