you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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