arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
