brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
