Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
