You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
