Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize