quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
