Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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