Plan B is the new Plan A
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize