Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
