Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We got so high we made milksteak
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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