For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
