I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
